I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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