We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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