New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
