just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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