I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The Olympian is in my bed
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