"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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