so explain again why im purple
no
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize