i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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