How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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