Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Mom said you looked used
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
