Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Need sex. Gaining weight.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
