Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize
