I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Four minutes until I can fart!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
