Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
