My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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