My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize