Only a mothe r could love this liver
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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