He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
