marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the day after is always just damage control
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
