apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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