I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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