Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
