I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i just google imaged poop.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
