Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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