I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
