I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
