I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
