You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
are you so shy because you have an std?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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