well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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