she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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