Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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