omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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