Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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