After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
