the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
