Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
