guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
