I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
