thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
