how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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