I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
