Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I think I won the penis lottery.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
