Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
