Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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