no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
