nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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