This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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