I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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