i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
