and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize