so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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