I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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