The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
