I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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