he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
How external is "for external use only"?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
