Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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