So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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