i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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