Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
