Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
