Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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