So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
