I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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