i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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