New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
