it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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