my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
