I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
